my beauties

Zoe Paulette

Well...we did it.  Zoe Paulette joined worlds with mama and papa.  June 18th at 11pm she came out of my belly.  A birth story we hadn't imagined but JOYOUS none the less.  Im healing well from having her via c-section and Zoe doesn't seem to care how she got here.  She is just loving her new world. She does all the things newborns do.  She eats, sleeps and poops.  We go on walks and spend a lot of time just staring at each other.  We've had many visitors including Some very proud grandparents, a great Aunt and Uncle, and the many loving and incredibly supportive second family I've/ we've gained while living in Willits.  We have been taken care of by very lovely friends.  THANK YOU ALL.
Im incredibly proud of her papa who is a natural.  She loves the heck out of him.  and together we are figuring out family life.
The flowers are so beautiful.  They are just about to bloom like crazy.  Ive already made several bouquets and am really lookin forward to the bounty.
Hope everyone is well and loving summer.  We are just getting out into it.  I love the sun.
LOVE

the new family.

Magic Bars in the oven, filling my house with the aroma of goodness.  Its all I have left to do but bake sweet things and any other thing that sounds yummy.  this is my distraction. Has anyone ever made these things before?  I mean i hope I don't love them so when Im not pregnant Im not tempted to make them over and over again.  Not only are they incredibly easy but each ingredient is delectable on its own.  Well, maybe I wont be tempted by sweetened condensced milk...
http://www.joyofbaking.com/barsandsquares/MagicBars.html
this website is a really great resource for baking.  It hasn't failed me yet. But I do have to admit that I often just use it as inspiration.  Baking, as much as I love it, doesn't work in that scientific way that it should.  Im definately a perfectionist but when it comes to baking I don't fit in. Come to think of it I don't even fit in to the perfectionist category.  Ok that's enough of my spacy pregnancy brain.
Yes, were still pregnant.  We're only 2 days past due right now but the way it seems, it could be several more days before this baby joins us.  Its a familiar story.  And the babe is totally fine and healthy so we are not at  all concerned.  And until they arrive I will just continue to harrass Rob with sweets and other delectable goodies.
And as far as the flowers go well...it hasn't stopped raining for weeks so at least I don't have to worry about them getting enough water.  they seem to be growing up nicely but I am sure they would love some sunshine.  Me too.  Im starting to mold.  Im incredibly jealous of all ya all down in socal who have gorgeous weather, as it is supposed to be here.  I wont complain though.  It will make it really easy to hole up with baby and nestle and cuddle for days on end.
AAAhhhh.
love you all.

As I try to fill my time with interesting and restful things to do I wonder how my post could be interesting.  Then I realized that I am 4 days away from my due date and the arrival of this baby has me wound up with anticipation.  So Im guessing that others are equally as excited to know what the heck is going on.
Today was such a great day.  I had energy, I got sleep last night, we went for a lovely walk this morning. The last few days have been a little different.  Ive felt a little sulky, very tired and bored.  Even though I have been sewing dresses and bibs and other fun things,cooking and nesting,  I just want to do a little more to distract myself.  But it's fine.  Im really trying to relish my time with baby and love all the changes that are happening to get me ready for this birth.
So today I really nested.  I organized, I installed the diaper sprayer on the toilet, made room for baby to be here.  I listened to Louise Hay who reminded me to not be fearful but to be curious.  And I am.  It seems I need to hear those words to remind me that I am indeed very curious about my experience.  That no matter what it will be one of my life's most beautiful and mind-body-soul altering experiences and I get to participate fully and knowingly.
So soon.  So Soon.
I go to the midwife on Weds. which is our due date.  So unless I go into labor before then or if you don't see a post for awhile you'll know why.
I love you all.

Have you ever been a part of a collective poem?  One person writes a line, the next writes something that goes along with it.  the next person writes off of what the second person wrote, not knowing what the first person wrote.  each person folds the paper over so that the next person only sees one line from which they gather inspiration from.  Its a little hard to explain. But in the end it is so beautiful...everytime! I just remembered that the first one i was involved in was in Austin.  Sitting on the front porch drinking mimosas with the gang.  That poem was a funny one...I probably still have it somewhere.
Here is the collective poem some girlfriends wrote for me.
ENJOY!

Full moon mama, glows, reflects light from the other side

She carries inside of her the baby she’s always known

Wrapped tight and warm inside her cozy womb

What does the divine entrust in her?

A wonderous life, a blossoming seed

The beginning of the universe

The entirety of life itself

Breath, love and challenges. Moving in the cycle of life.

Walking through the grass we find our way

Never stumbling-our path has already been chosen

We may rejoice and receive our gifts

Surrounded by the ones we love

And may you always, always trust in you and in the world.

The women in your life will hold you, guide you and love you deeply.

Another face, another stage, another cycle into true womanhood

The world is in need of your contribution…a fresh breath

So simple-breath in suffering, exhale love and peace

The new person to come your greatest creation

To unfold the mystery of life’s paths yet untrod

Im wondering...is it a sign that labor is coming when I eat more than humanly possible in one sitting? Surprisingly, I ate the biggest meal of my pregnancy tonight.  Yellow curry at a Thai restaurant...it was soo good, I just couldnt stop eating.  Then I came home and made my mom's homemade hot fudge and put it over ice cream.  And no one is stopping me.  Not even the baby.  No complaints...at least not yet.  YUMMY.
It must have been all the planting we did today.  A friend and I planted all the flowers.  THANK YOU SPRING!  It was a perfect day for planting, Overcast, drizzly, the soil was nice and moist.  And now we just get to watch it all grow.  I am thrilled.  Its all coming together at all the right times.  Ill take some photos when the sun comes out.  Hopefully this week.
It will be such a joy to see how all the flowers mature.  It will be quite a sight if they all bloom together.  I know there are a lot of seasoned gardeners out there who have beautiful perennial beds of fleurs...this is my first straight up flower garden.  mmmmmm...Yummy
I have one more delicious bit to share.
This past weekend my dear friends organized a pamper Carissa and baby day.  I guess something like a baby shower, blesssing.  Oh was it glorious.  If the details of a luxurious and amazingly sweet event bore you stop here.
Otherwise Im going on and on to say that I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends who celebrated this baby experience with me.  As Allegra said so eloquently, this is an experience in life that must be celebrated much like marriage.  A rite of passage in a woman's life.  That day i felt like a queen.  Pampered, loved and more loved.  I was just so sorry that I couldnt have had ALL my nearest and dearest there with me.  You know who you are.  AND I LOVE YOU.
So now I feel a little more prepared to bring a child into the world.  I am, truth be told a little nervous about labor but feeling good, make that great, otherwise.  Thank you to all who have helped to make this pregnancy as easy as it has been.  And for sending us the necessary supplies for this sweet babe. I feel really lucky.
Im starting to get tired and need to rest so I will sign off now.
LOVE LOVE LOVE.

We Are Almost There!

Here we are!  Just about 37 weeks and all seems to be going well.  Im having contractions about every 5-6-7 minutes but nothing has changed cervix wise so the midwife is not worried.  This baby will come when ready and at this point that could be any day.
I'm a mixture of excited and nervous, but in general I just feel good and patient and BIG.  Im sorry I dont have a recent photo but I will work on it.  But Imagine normal sized me with a basketball under my shirt.  Of course a bigger behind and some chunk in my arms...unescapable in pregnancy.
This weekend a bunch of friends are coming over to the garden site to plant out all the flowers.  I am very happy about this since I cannot even bend down to tie my shoes.  I will be taking pictures.  I am so lucky to have such a wonderful group of friends to help me do this.
So stay tuned for photos and big news...its happening!
I also wanted to wish all the lovely mothers and mothers to be a belated Happy Mother's Day...I wasn't so much up for celebrating yesterday but you all were on my mind.  I feel so grateful to be joining the ranks of the wise and laboured in our world.  And Momma...thanks for helping through!  I love you.